IT'S NOT A BOO BOO, IT'S A CONSPIRACY: THE RISE OF THE FAT CLASS

Sometimes it's hard to talk about the truly devious machinations of the shadowy elite, and often we regret giving awful things more publicity, but trust us, there is a conspiracy at work here. If you haven't seen it yet, below is a promo for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on THE LEARNING CHANNEL.

We'll give you a second to wipe the vomit from your screen. Yes, this is a real show on TLC about the depraved ramblings of a fat, rambunctious, exploited young girl and the people she calls a family. How people watch entire episodes of this we'll never know. Why it's on The Learning Channel, we'll also never know. What we do know is that this is a ploy by the New World Order to shift society's perception of the uneducated, hyperactive, obese members of society, aka the Fat Class.

The NWO have slowly been turning our entire society into the Fat Class. Grocery stores are littered with enriched, hydrogenated, adulterated sweets, syrups and solids. Sugar consumption has exploded over the past 200 years. Trans fats, which are known to increase aggression as well has destroy our bodies, are packed into our pantries (for an interesting read, see how the United Soy Board has tries to spin them). On the other hand, the ability to purchase and consume raw, organic foods is still limited and expensive. So, what does that mean?

By Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

• Fat people aren't healthy. The Fat Class is less fit than the Elite. They run slower, breathe harder and die sooner. 
• Fat people are easier to control. They're bulked up just like chickens and cows, and their limited mobility makes them easy targets for the Elite's goons. 
• Fat people aren't as smart. Research suggests the obese aren't as intelligent as the common man. This makes them easier to control and easier to please. They aren't seeking greater freedom or a metaphysical awareness; they're pleased with a jumbo Coke and 2 lbs. of seared animal flesh. 

Over the past 30 years, obesity rates have skyrocketed in America and around the world. Read some CDC information on the subject. The NWO have been increasing the amount of people who are easily controlled puppets, but the problem is people are noticing. We've  finally opened our eyes and seen the grease stains on the wall. People are getting fatter, and it's not good for any of us. From higher taxes and insurance premiums to a larger carbon footprint to an increase in the slaughtering of innocent animals to satiate everyone, obesity is in no one's best interest.

Picture of an Obese Teenager (322lbs) with Central Obesity, side view. 

And that's where Honey Boo Boo comes in. She puts a cute, innocent (though excessively annoying) face to the fat. She is the new spokesperson of the Fat Class. She's on TV. She's doing it right. She's OK. If she's that fat, and her family's that fat, and they're all leeches on the legs of society, then it's alright for me to be like that, too. I don't have to go to school. I don't have to take care of my body. I can do whatever I want, and the consequence is I'll get a TV show. 

This is how it starts. We get fat. We get lazy. We get controlled. The NWO is plumping us up to position us how they want us. They will surpass our capabilities mentally, physically, monetarily, and, soon enough, interdimensionally. There's a reason the education system is broken. There's a reason the FDA hasn't started a War on Obesity (we have a war on everything else, after all). They want us this way. They want all of us this way. Too fat to run and too dumb to care. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is just one piece of the sugary, cholesteroly pie of control.

Edited image depicting the docile Fat Class watching the Elite's goons overtake our freedoms.

UPDATE 8/31/12:  As a little bonus, Nielsen ratings proclaimed Honey Boo Boo the victor in the battle over viewers during the Republican National Convention. In fact, Honey Boo Boo and crew more than doubled the amount of viewers. We're not sure if this is a sign that Mitt Romney doesn't appeal to Americans, or that they would rather stuff their guts with chemical-laced popcorn and watch human pigs at the TV trough. It's bleak no matter how you look at it.