Every bite you take of those halfway tasty, stale-even-though-it's-before-the-use-by-date Great Value graham crackers, an angel dies. Every piece of fabric attempted to be softened by the Walmart brand softener, an angel. And those uncomfortable steps in shoes that don't seem to conform to human feet? Yeah, another angel.
We just felt like reminding everyone that while Great Value seems like a, well, great value, it's not. It's owned and controlled by Walmart, and to keep it a "great value", they resort to unethical practices. They import most of their products from China and use their stance as the World's Greatest Seller to force companies to sell things for less, often at a loss for the maker. They use the fruits and vegetables from the bottom of the pile to keep their food cheap. They do whatever it takes to keep the price down so the value seems great.
Cheap, but how long will they last? By Derek Bridges from New Orleans, USA.
It may be cheap, but it's bad for the world economy. It's bad for small businesses. It's bad for food growers and product manufacturers. It's bad for your health. It's bad for everyone except the huge money makers at the top of the Walmart pyramid.
On the bright side, people seem to be waking up. Walmart redesigned their entire Great Value brand in 2009, and while it looks cleaner and nicer, sales went down. People stopped biting. It may seem like a deal saving 22 cents on a can of beans, but who is paying for that 22 cents? That savings comes from somewhere. And isn't it worth it to spend your money on food that tastes how it should, pants that fit well, and products that do their job?
Walmart is making a mockery of the word "value" and we want to remind people of that. Forget about saving a few bucks on groceries and adding value to your checkbook. Add value to the world by voting with your dollar. Vote for a better future.
Sometimes it's hard to talk about the truly devious machinations of the shadowy elite, and often we regret giving awful things more publicity, but trust us, there is a conspiracy at work here. If you haven't seen it yet, below is a promo for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on THE LEARNING CHANNEL.
We'll give you a second to wipe the vomit from your screen. Yes, this is a real show on TLC about the depraved ramblings of a fat, rambunctious, exploited young girl and the people she calls a family. How people watch entire episodes of this we'll never know. Why it's on The Learning Channel, we'll also never know. What we do know is that this is a ploy by the New World Order to shift society's perception of the uneducated, hyperactive, obese members of society, aka the Fat Class.
The NWO have slowly been turning our entire society into the Fat Class. Grocery stores are littered with enriched, hydrogenated, adulterated sweets, syrups and solids. Sugar consumption has exploded over the past 200 years. Trans fats, which are known to increase aggression as well has destroy our bodies, are packed into our pantries (for an interesting read, see how the United Soy Board has tries to spin them). On the other hand, the ability to purchase and consume raw, organic foods is still limited and expensive. So, what does that mean?
By Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Fat people aren't healthy. The Fat Class is less fit than the Elite. They run slower, breathe harder and die sooner.
Fat people are easier to control. They're bulked up just like chickens and cows, and their limited mobility makes them easy targets for the Elite's goons.
Fat people aren't as smart.Research suggests the obese aren't as intelligent as the common man. This makes them easier to control and easier to please. They aren't seeking greater freedom or a metaphysical awareness; they're pleased with a jumbo Coke and 2 lbs. of seared animal flesh.
Over the past 30 years, obesity rates have skyrocketed in America and around the world. Read some CDC information on the subject. The NWO have been increasing the amount of people who are easily controlled puppets, but the problem is people are noticing. We've finally opened our eyes and seen the grease stains on the wall. People are getting fatter, and it's not good for any of us. From higher taxes and insurance premiums to a larger carbon footprint to an increase in the slaughtering of innocent animals to satiate everyone, obesity is in no one's best interest.
Picture of an Obese Teenager (322lbs) with Central Obesity, side view.
And that's where Honey Boo Boo comes in. She puts a cute, innocent (though excessively annoying) face to the fat. She is the new spokesperson of the Fat Class. She's on TV. She's doing it right. She's OK. If she's that fat, and her family's that fat, and they're all leeches on the legs of society, then it's alright for me to be like that, too. I don't have to go to school. I don't have to take care of my body. I can do whatever I want, and the consequence is I'll get a TV show.
This is how it starts. We get fat. We get lazy. We get controlled. The NWO is plumping us up to position us how they want us. They will surpass our capabilities mentally, physically, monetarily, and, soon enough, interdimensionally. There's a reason the education system is broken. There's a reason the FDA hasn't started a War on Obesity (we have a war on everything else, after all). They want us this way. They want all of us this way. Too fat to run and too dumb to care. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is just one piece of the sugary, cholesteroly pie of control.
Edited image depicting the docile Fat Class watching the Elite's goons overtake our freedoms.
UPDATE 8/31/12: As a little bonus, Nielsen ratings proclaimed Honey Boo Boo the victor in the battle over viewers during the Republican National Convention. In fact, Honey Boo Boo and crew more than doubled the amount of viewers. We're not sure if this is a sign that Mitt Romney doesn't appeal to Americans, or that they would rather stuff their guts with chemical-laced popcorn and watch human pigs at the TV trough. It's bleak no matter how you look at it.
Most of our readers are probably aware that us Conspiracy Furists vehemently support freedom and personal rights. One of our main fears is losing those rights, and many of the actions of the US Government deeply worry us. The Patriot Act, the NDAA, the War on Drugs, and many laws regarding "taboo" social issues like same-sex marriage are just some examples of why we are scared.
What's scarier is that homophobia and hate, racism, class warfare, etc., are all used to drive a wedge between members of society. "Divided we fall; united we stand." It's not to say people aren't persecuted, sometimes violently, for being different, but the media and the powers that be exaggerate these issues to polarize us. They encourage that hatred to keep us under control and to keep themselves off our radar by distracting us.
Interference graphic by Dr. Schorsch via Wikimedia Commons
The Chik-fil-A situation is an example of this tactic. American citizens have far more to worry about than the deranged ramblings of a senile old man who's been in the business of slaughtering and frying bird meat for his entire life. We're in countless wars, our economy is collapsing, jobs are scarce, our prisons are overflowing, our education system is utterly broken, tax money (that's unfairly collected) is being wasted, our Congress exists only to serve their interests and the interests of hugely wealthy corporations, and on and on. And while it's unfortunate that Dan T. Carthy is using his social position to spread a message of hate, he's merely exercising his First Amendment Rights.
The Young Turks on Mr. Carthy's comments. (Note: this video is editorialized.)
We think boycotting Chik-fil-A is a great idea. If you don't support the owner's beliefs, you don't have to eat his greasy meat-sandwiches. But make the decision, and call it good. Don't let it consume your entire being. Don't dwell on it for days at a time and lash out at people who still want to eat his chicken. It's not that important.
While proponents of same-sex marriage are boycotting the chicken joint, opponents of same-sex marriage, in an attempt at restoring order in the universe, have decided to hold "eat-ins" to show support for Chik-fil-A's CEO and his remarks. John Stewart had a delicious commentary about it the other day. That's right. People are flocking en masse to buy fast food in an attempt to undermine the actions of their fellow Americans. In a time of financial instability, health concerns and worldwide turmoil, people are buying fried chicken as a social and political statement to spite other people.
The wedge has spread rapidly through the realm of social media. We saw this image on Facebook today:
When will you stop exploiting the suffering of the oppressed for a cheaply made e-card?
We won't go into the fact that America is supposed to be a shining light of democracy for the world. How at least our government has (for the most part) gotten past executing its own people for their beliefs. How the only way to promote and continue change and bring about a better society is to strive for more social acceptance and comradery. We will say, however, that these petty, user-made e-cards are just a tiny example of how the social wedge continues to grow. People are spreading messages of intolerance and veiled hate (that they most likely don't understand is hate) to make a point in regard to a non-issue.
As to the Bible-pushers(-down-throaters), this must be what people mean when they say they're "doing God's work". They're actually trying to do His job for Him, and we're pretty sure the Bible says He doesn't like that. We don't believe in God, per se, but to everyone who does, please let Him do His job. The evil, marriage-destroying gays will get theirs when they die and meet that giant burning Judge in the sky.
Passing judgement is fun, which is why God saved it for Himself.
And so, the fight rages. One side is supporting people's rights, even though the catalyst for their anger is ridiculous. The other side is brandishing the Word of God in an attempt to control how other people live their lives. And as the e-cards get shared and liked online and the exaggerated news reports flow, the topic continues to move further and further away from the social issue of same-sex rights to the Chik-fil-A non-issue that is stupidly dividing people.
As freedom-lovers, we support everyone's right to ". . . life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Do what you want, just don't hurt anyone and don't mess with their rights, and don't get caught up in the media's ploys to distract and divide you. For now, we're going to take our own advice and move on with our lives. The Chik-fil-A "issue" is aggravating, but we ALL have bigger chicken to fry.
Would you eat this to support your cause? By Biswarup Ganguly via Wikimedia Commons.
This is what everyone's talking about right now. The landing of NASA's Curiosity rover on Mars. This is the first image back from the rover:
Sorry to be cynical, but we don't think America's "curiosity" drove this $2.5 billion mission forward. Take another look at the image above and imagine anyone you encounter in public being awe-struck by it. We can't wait for the over-sized women in Walmart lines to belch, "That much money for black and white photos of some rocks? Ha! I got them same rocks in the driveway up to my trailer." Sorry to generalize, but seriously.
This is what NASA promised us:
By NASA via Wikimedia Commons.
This looks more like scene out of a Michael Bay movie (Transformers 4?). It's exciting. It's fun. It's something we want to watch. And that's what brings us to our point. We aren't saying that Curiosity didn't land on Mars. We aren't saying the images are fake. We aren't saying those seven minutes of "terror" (aka "silence") weren't legitimate. We're saying, what were they distracting us from?
We're big fans of Richard C. Hoagland's Dark Mission, so we don't trust NASA in the first place. As you've read before, we think know there are crazy things going on with Venus. Our best guess is that Venus is the origin of modern man. What's very interesting is that while all this "curiosity" is happening, Venus is behind us doing who knows what. Here's a map of what we mean:
Click for a larger view.
We'll let you rest somewhat easy tonight, high on "America's victory". (On a side note, wasn't John P. Holdren's speech about America, America and America great? Was this a scientific endeavor or a public relations stunt for Obama? Here's what our Leader had to say by the way.)
Hopefully you viewed tonight's events with a sense of skepticism rather than curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat, after all. Don't let it get to you, too.
