Inside the 2011 Analyst Desktop Binder are 374 words the Department of Homeland Security uses to monitor "possible terrorist activity". These are our ten favorites, but if you want to read them all, they're under section 2.13 of the document we have embedded at the end of this post.
10. Exercise. Just another reason to keep "getting fit" off this year's list of resolutions.
9. Recovery. Having problems with your hard drive? Don't worry about getting the data off it. Just buy a new one.
8. Initiative. Trust us, it's better to be a lazy slob than get your act together and end up on a watch list at the same time.
7. Police. Interested in joining the force? Better head to the library with a fake ID if you want to read up on it.
6. Gangs. To the old lady concerned about the graffiti a couple blocks down, eh, you probably don't have a computer anyway.
5. Burn. Aloe vera is what you want. No need to Google it.
4. Outbreak. NO DUSTIN HOFFMAN MOVIES!
3. Pork. It may be the other white meat, but it's off limits round these parts.
2. San Diego. It's supposed to be one of the most beautiful cities in the US, but no, you cannot move there.
1. Smart. This is the one thing the US Government DOES NOT want you to be, so keep being a deaf, dumb, blind little sheep (not really).
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