IT'S NOT A BOO BOO, IT'S A CONSPIRACY: THE RISE OF THE FAT CLASS

Sometimes it's hard to talk about the truly devious machinations of the shadowy elite, and often we regret giving awful things more publicity, but trust us, there is a conspiracy at work here. If you haven't seen it yet, below is a promo for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on THE LEARNING CHANNEL.

We'll give you a second to wipe the vomit from your screen. Yes, this is a real show on TLC about the depraved ramblings of a fat, rambunctious, exploited young girl and the people she calls a family. How people watch entire episodes of this we'll never know. Why it's on The Learning Channel, we'll also never know. What we do know is that this is a ploy by the New World Order to shift society's perception of the uneducated, hyperactive, obese members of society, aka the Fat Class.

The NWO have slowly been turning our entire society into the Fat Class. Grocery stores are littered with enriched, hydrogenated, adulterated sweets, syrups and solids. Sugar consumption has exploded over the past 200 years. Trans fats, which are known to increase aggression as well has destroy our bodies, are packed into our pantries (for an interesting read, see how the United Soy Board has tries to spin them). On the other hand, the ability to purchase and consume raw, organic foods is still limited and expensive. So, what does that mean?

By Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

• Fat people aren't healthy. The Fat Class is less fit than the Elite. They run slower, breathe harder and die sooner. 
• Fat people are easier to control. They're bulked up just like chickens and cows, and their limited mobility makes them easy targets for the Elite's goons. 
• Fat people aren't as smart. Research suggests the obese aren't as intelligent as the common man. This makes them easier to control and easier to please. They aren't seeking greater freedom or a metaphysical awareness; they're pleased with a jumbo Coke and 2 lbs. of seared animal flesh. 

Over the past 30 years, obesity rates have skyrocketed in America and around the world. Read some CDC information on the subject. The NWO have been increasing the amount of people who are easily controlled puppets, but the problem is people are noticing. We've  finally opened our eyes and seen the grease stains on the wall. People are getting fatter, and it's not good for any of us. From higher taxes and insurance premiums to a larger carbon footprint to an increase in the slaughtering of innocent animals to satiate everyone, obesity is in no one's best interest.

Picture of an Obese Teenager (322lbs) with Central Obesity, side view. 

And that's where Honey Boo Boo comes in. She puts a cute, innocent (though excessively annoying) face to the fat. She is the new spokesperson of the Fat Class. She's on TV. She's doing it right. She's OK. If she's that fat, and her family's that fat, and they're all leeches on the legs of society, then it's alright for me to be like that, too. I don't have to go to school. I don't have to take care of my body. I can do whatever I want, and the consequence is I'll get a TV show. 

This is how it starts. We get fat. We get lazy. We get controlled. The NWO is plumping us up to position us how they want us. They will surpass our capabilities mentally, physically, monetarily, and, soon enough, interdimensionally. There's a reason the education system is broken. There's a reason the FDA hasn't started a War on Obesity (we have a war on everything else, after all). They want us this way. They want all of us this way. Too fat to run and too dumb to care. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is just one piece of the sugary, cholesteroly pie of control.

Edited image depicting the docile Fat Class watching the Elite's goons overtake our freedoms.

UPDATE 8/31/12:  As a little bonus, Nielsen ratings proclaimed Honey Boo Boo the victor in the battle over viewers during the Republican National Convention. In fact, Honey Boo Boo and crew more than doubled the amount of viewers. We're not sure if this is a sign that Mitt Romney doesn't appeal to Americans, or that they would rather stuff their guts with chemical-laced popcorn and watch human pigs at the TV trough. It's bleak no matter how you look at it.

CHIK-FIL-GAY: FREEDOM, THE SOCIAL WEDGE, AND PEOPLE DOING GOD'S JOB FOR HIM

Most of our readers are probably aware that us Conspiracy Furists vehemently support freedom and personal rights. One of our main fears is losing those rights, and many of the actions of the US Government deeply worry us. The Patriot Act, the NDAA, the War on Drugs, and many laws regarding "taboo" social issues like same-sex marriage are just some examples of why we are scared.

What's scarier is that homophobia and hate, racism, class warfare, etc., are all used to drive a wedge between members of society. "Divided we fall; united we stand." It's not to say people aren't persecuted, sometimes violently, for being different, but the media and the powers that be exaggerate these issues to polarize us. They encourage that hatred to keep us under control and to keep themselves off our radar by distracting us.

Interference graphic by Dr. Schorsch via Wikimedia Commons

The Chik-fil-A situation is an example of this tactic. American citizens have far more to worry about than the deranged ramblings of a senile old man who's been in the business of slaughtering and frying bird meat for his entire life. We're in countless wars, our economy is collapsing, jobs are scarce, our prisons are overflowing, our education system is utterly broken, tax money (that's unfairly collected) is being wasted, our Congress exists only to serve their interests and the interests of hugely wealthy corporations, and on and on. And while it's unfortunate that Dan T. Carthy is using his social position to spread a message of hate, he's merely exercising his First Amendment Rights.

The Young Turks on Mr. Carthy's comments. (Note: this video is editorialized.)

We think boycotting Chik-fil-A is a great idea. If you don't support the owner's beliefs, you don't have to eat his greasy meat-sandwiches. But make the decision, and call it good. Don't let it consume your entire being. Don't dwell on it for days at a time and lash out at people who still want to eat his chicken. It's not that important.

While proponents of same-sex marriage are boycotting the chicken joint, opponents of same-sex marriage, in an attempt at restoring order in the universe, have decided to hold "eat-ins" to show support for Chik-fil-A's CEO and his remarks. John Stewart had a delicious commentary about it the other day. That's right. People are flocking en masse to buy fast food in an attempt to undermine the actions of their fellow Americans. In a time of financial instability, health concerns and worldwide turmoil, people are buying fried chicken as a social and political statement to spite other people.

The wedge has spread rapidly through the realm of social media. We saw this image on Facebook today:

When will you stop exploiting the suffering of the oppressed for a cheaply made e-card?

We won't go into the fact that America is supposed to be a shining light of democracy for the world. How at least our government has (for the most part) gotten past executing its own people for their beliefs. How the only way to promote and continue change and bring about a better society is to strive for more social acceptance and comradery. We will say, however, that these petty, user-made e-cards are just a tiny example of how the social wedge continues to grow. People are spreading messages of intolerance and veiled hate (that they most likely don't understand is hate) to make a point in regard to a non-issue.


As to the Bible-pushers(-down-throaters), this must be what people mean when they say they're "doing God's work". They're actually trying to do His job for Him, and we're pretty sure the Bible says He doesn't like that. We don't believe in God, per se, but to everyone who does, please let Him do His job. The evil, marriage-destroying gays will get theirs when they die and meet that giant burning Judge in the sky.

Passing judgement is fun, which is why God saved it for Himself.  

And so, the fight rages. One side is supporting people's rights, even though the catalyst for their anger is ridiculous. The other side is brandishing the Word of God in an attempt to control how other people live their lives. And as the e-cards get shared and liked online and the exaggerated news reports flow, the topic continues to move further and further away from the social issue of same-sex rights to the Chik-fil-A non-issue that is stupidly dividing people.

As freedom-lovers, we support everyone's right to ". . . life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Do what you want, just don't hurt anyone and don't mess with their rights, and don't get caught up in the media's ploys to distract and divide you. For now, we're going to take our own advice and move on with our lives. The Chik-fil-A "issue" is aggravating, but we ALL have bigger chicken to fry.

Would you eat this to support your cause? By Biswarup Ganguly via Wikimedia Commons.

CURIOSITY? DIDN'T IT KILL THE CAT?

This is what everyone's talking about right now. The landing of NASA's Curiosity rover on Mars. This is the first image back from the rover:

Sorry to be cynical, but we don't think America's "curiosity" drove this $2.5 billion mission forward. Take another look at the image above and imagine anyone you encounter in public being awe-struck by it. We can't wait for the over-sized women in Walmart lines to belch, "That much money for black and white photos of some rocks? Ha! I got them same rocks in the driveway up to my trailer." Sorry to generalize, but seriously.

This is what NASA promised us:

By NASA via Wikimedia Commons.

This looks more like scene out of a Michael Bay movie (Transformers 4?). It's exciting. It's fun. It's something we want to watch. And that's what brings us to our point. We aren't saying that Curiosity didn't land on Mars. We aren't saying the images are fake. We aren't saying those seven minutes of "terror" (aka "silence") weren't legitimate. We're saying, what were they distracting us from?

We're big fans of Richard C. Hoagland's Dark Mission, so we don't trust NASA in the first place. As you've read before, we think know there are crazy things going on with Venus. Our best guess is that Venus is the origin of modern man. What's very interesting is that while all this "curiosity" is happening, Venus is behind us doing who knows what. Here's a map of what we mean:

Click for a larger view.

We'll let you rest somewhat easy tonight, high on "America's victory". (On a side note, wasn't John P. Holdren's speech about America, America and America great? Was this a scientific endeavor or a public relations stunt for Obama? Here's what our Leader had to say by the way.)

Hopefully you viewed tonight's events with a sense of skepticism rather than curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat, after all. Don't let it get to you, too.

READER QUOTE: LADY LIBERTY

I've been trying to hook up with this girl for a while now, but she's turning out to be a total bitch. Maybe you know her. Her name's Lady Liberty

- Quote submitted by Conspiracy Fury user [name withheld].

By Julio Aguilera via Wikimedia Commons

BREAKING THE ANA-HYMEN: POLICE ARE SKIPPING THE FOREPLAY AND ENGAGING UNARMED CITIZENS IN ANAHEIM

This is footage of militarized police in Anaheim, California.

Since 9/11, the US government has been expanding its power. First, came the multi-trillion-dollar-a-year War on Terror. Then, the Department of Homeland Security was created to combat terrorism by stopping online piracy. Next, there was the Patriot Act that expanded the US government's ability to gather information on "terror suspects" (it also expanded the term "terrorism" to include domestic terrorists, aka US citizens). In 2011, President Barack Obama extended the most frightening aspects of the Patriot Act, and, in the same year, became the first US President to kill an American citizen without due process. In 2012, President Obama created the nightmarish National Defense Authorization Act, a frothing, tentacled creature born of Phillip K Dick's paranoid hallucinations and Joseph Stalin's Manual for Running Your Country*.

With the recent protests leading to an overblown police response in Anaheim, one question pops up: Could this be a test run? Is Anaheim the US government's version of Columbus, Ohio, where they're product testing violence instead of new fast food creations? Let's review this week and see what has brought forth this level of police power. For a good video recap, check out this CBS News video. Wikipedia also has ongoing coverage.

July 21, 2012 - Police approach 25-year-old Manuel Diaz. He runs, so they shoot and kill him. Witnesses in the area begin questioning the police for murdering an unarmed man. Tensions rise, and in the end, officers disperse the crowd with shotguns loaded with bean bags, tasers and a wild K-9 looking for a snack. When the dust settles, police officers attempted to purchase witnesses' cell phones and cameras to hide video evidence of the event.

July 22, 2012 - The day after murdering an unarmed Latino, police kill another, even younger, Latino named Joel Acevedo. Reports say he fired at police, though that is still "under investigation." This second killing sparked more protests, and in the following days, protests grew, drawing larger numbers of police responders. For the most part, protests have seemed peaceful and restrained given the circumstances. But as they continue, more and more militarized police are entering Anaheim, prepared to follow orders, orders that hopefully include "protect and serve".

*This is not really a book by Stalin, though he does have several that Obama probably reads before bed.

EVEN MORE CHEMTRAILS

The chemtrails have been in full force lately. The other day I was blown away by how much seeding was going on. Unfortunately, I didn't have a nice camera with me--just my phone--and by the time I got to a camera most of the chemtrails had spread out into huge blanket clouds.

You'll have to take my word for it because I only had my phone, but this is a black chemtrail.

Little X's filled the sky.

Wider shot of the X's and crosshatching.

Four-line star.

There are a lot of theories on chemtrails. One that I've been mulling over lately is that the ozone layer has become so depleted they're doing their best to either re-establish it or keep us from frying alive while they can. My thoughts on that theory are A) I hope it works and they can hold the Sun's deadly rays off for a while, B) I hope the chemicals aren't dangerous (probably are) and C) why aren't they telling us anything about this?

INFORMATION FUNNEL

By Donovan Govan via Wikimedia Commons

Information control or obscuration is a detriment to the human race. Sooner rather than later all information will be funneled to individuals based on prior activities. Currently, it might not be possible to completely narrow everyone's minds. Given an article posted on Conspiracy Fury about a maleware called Flame, ultimate information control is not far off, though. Never underestimate the power of your government. Most of the information an individual views can be shared with second, third, countless parties with no consent from the individual. Example: buy something online, then check your email. Look at all the emails/junkmail directly related to that purchase. Should capitalism be allowed to continue in such a manner?

Perhaps in the future based on online transactions and social posts you could be pigeonholed into a direct demographic. Then be allowed to only view information or products based on your "likes" or purchases.  This would inhibit outside world views or information foreign because of your previous activity. Constriction of ideas would lead to further narrowing of human intellect. Thus making everyone easier to put into a category.  Potential threats to information totalitarianism could be easily located once all humans are categorized.

New information that would broaden human intellect would be hampered or inaccessible. Funneling of accessible information would destroy the ability to debate ideals outside your own fine tuned category.  In order to debate or constructively criticize one must also have knowledge of the ideas out side your own.  Progression of information filtering will create a fractured, egotistical, uninformed society. Ideas would be confirmed and not criticized within a category.

Criticism is crucial for self betterment. Without criticism there is no intelligence only an obscure and incorrect view of intellect. The narrowing of minds is the result. There is no shared knowledge only the individuals perception of a correct worldview. There is no societal benefit. Select groups will arise that cater to each human caricature. Each group molded with information funneling and inflated sense of right. This sense of right will consume each vs. the other. Debates will still happen but nothing constructive will come out of it.  Cooperation will disappear leaving only ignorance and violence.