"PULLING ADS" IS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF ADVERTISING

Remember back in 2011 when Taco Bell, GM and other advertisers pulled their ads from MTV's watered-down port of the British hit Skins? News flash: it wasn't because execs were offended or had moral objections to the show itself. It had nothing to do with public outcry. It was a marketing tactic in itself, a clever way of getting more advertising bang for the buck, and possibly getting some of those bucks back.

An advertiser's moral compass. By Agnico-Eagle, via Wikimedia Commons

The concept is simple. You attach some ads to something you know will be controversial, perhaps a show like Skins or All-American Muslim (wonder how many advertisers "pulled out" of that show in a post-9/11 America? 64). You put money into the ads, but then you pull them because of some moral or patriotic outrage. The media buzz generated by the "pull-out" gets you spots on all the major news channels for free. The story of your taking the moral high ground is strewn across the internet, liked and shared on Facebook, tweeted and retweeted in the Twiterverse, and subject to choppily written, pat-on-the-back posts in the blogosphere. And you may get some of that original investment back from the networks for being "forced" to pull your ads.

We're sure the GM execs who greenlit ads for MTV's Skins had no idea the show was about teenage sex and drug use. It's not like the show had been on in England for four years. And we'll bet those 64 advertisers who pulled out of All-American Muslim had no idea what that show would be about. They must have been sure it would be a hit. American TV-watchers just love Muslims, especially when they steal our words and tack them on themselves. American Muslim? No such thing. (All joking aside, there was at least some media backlash in that case. Cries of racism and nationalism rang out on the internet, and for good reason.)

Boycotts are fun!

So to the people riding high horses and charging for boycotts and federal investigations on moral grounds, jump off the saddle and ask yourself if the corporations who pull their ads really support your cause. Or do they want you sharing their story with your knitting circle on Facebook? Real life isn't like The Grinch. The heartless can't just grow hearts.

10 WORDS TO NEVER TYPE

Inside the 2011 Analyst Desktop Binder are 374 words the Department of Homeland Security uses to monitor "possible terrorist activity". These are our ten favorites, but if you want to read them all, they're under section 2.13 of the document we have embedded at the end of this post.

10. Exercise. Just another reason to keep "getting fit" off this year's list of resolutions.

9. Recovery. Having problems with your hard drive? Don't worry about getting the data off it. Just buy a new one.

8. Initiative. Trust us, it's better to be a lazy slob than get your act together and end up on a watch list at the same time.

7. Police. Interested in joining the force? Better head to the library with a fake ID if you want to read up on it.

6. Gangs. To the old lady concerned about the graffiti a couple blocks down, eh, you probably don't have a computer anyway.

5. Burn. Aloe vera is what you want. No need to Google it.

4. Outbreak. NO DUSTIN HOFFMAN MOVIES!

3. Pork. It may be the other white meat, but it's off limits round these parts.

2. San Diego. It's supposed to be one of the most beautiful cities in the US, but no, you cannot move there.

1. Smart. This is the one thing the US Government DOES NOT want you to be, so keep being a deaf, dumb, blind little sheep (not really).

LINK DUMP: STRANGE STUFF FROM THE NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT SHOOTING

There are plenty of places to find sensationalized reports and emotional interviews regarding the COnnecticut shooting. We wanted to avoid talking about it altogether, but as we looked into it, many things seemed too strange to not talk about. If you want personal interest stories or images of of the scene, you'll have to look elsewhere. We hope everyone involved can find peace in this trying time.

We have to, of course, start off with the most popular video on the subject of a Sandy Hook conspiracy. As of this posting, it has over 10 million views. That's a lot of people with questions . . .

SECOND SHOOTER
This news report makes note of "a second man was caught by police in an adjoining wood". Here is video of police running through those woods.

There is talk of "two shadows" running around the school grounds in the police scanner audio.

Yahoo has a story reporting two gunmen.

Someone from a neighboring school posted up-to-the-minute updates on reddit's r/news section: "[O]ne shooter reported dead . . . One child dead. One shooter still on the loose."


MEDICATION LINK
It's long been known medication can cause mood changes, suicidal thoughts and violent outbursts. SSRI Stories provides a list of violent incidents involving people on medications.

It remains unclear what medications Adam Lanza, the Connecticut shooter was one, but he was thought to have a "personality disorder" and was taking medication for it.

The medication link immediately made us think of MKUltra and other government programs aimed at using drugs to alter people's bodies and minds. In The Bourne Legacy, there's a scene where a scientist who has been drugged goes on a violent shooting spree, and while that may sound crazy, brain modification through drugs isn't just science fiction.

OTHER NEWS UNDER THE RUG: GITMO, LIBOR, AND MANNING
While everyone was distracted by the horrific shooting in Connecticut, Obama released information about the Guantanamo Bay prisoners, guards and more, as was required by law. Perhaps he was hoping it would slip under the radar while everyone, including him, focused on the shooting.

The shooting also occurred around the time some of the biggest bank fraud transcripts were released. Read more about the Libor scandal on Wikipedia.

The nearly unreported Bradley Manning trial is underway, as well. Read about it on VICE.

VICTORIA SOTO
Victim Victoria Soto was remembered in a Facebook page created four days before the shooting. Link to video capture of the page before it was taken down.

SIMILAR ATTACK IN CHINA
On the same day as the Connecticut shooting, a man attacked 22 schoolchildren in China.

THE EMAILS OF A PATRIOT

The following is a selection of e-mails we've received from a fellow conspiracy theorist and concerned patriot. While they are at times hard to read, they provide shocking foresight and insight into some of the United States' biggest problems. These e-mails have not been edited in any way, though some identifying information has been redacted.

Send us an e-mail.

5/12/11 - "30 years ago"
Henry Kissinger meet with the communist leader and saw dirt roads, 1 story sacks, no cars at all, warren people every where. China was concern with Russia coming closer so they thought that Russia would back down if they became friendly with the US. How any one could have thought that the best corporations would move there manufacturing and give there trade secretes away to the communist would have been committed and locked up!

Russia got trapped by Afghanistan and now we are trapped there. Could we become like Russia and China will take over the world?

Most of us would be around to find out, but about half of the 14 Trillion we owe belongs to China. 10,000 workers retire every day here. What's your best guess how this country will do in 30 years?

By FutureofUSChinaTrade.com, via Wikimedia Commons

1/26/12 - (No Subject)
Back in the late 1700s every too stones for granted. In 1793 William Smith, a canal digger, noticed rocks were arranged in layers. There were fossils in different layers. These same size fossils were in other out coppings. Certain size fossils were easier to dig. He draw a map of soft rocks and hard rocks and the church placed him in prison. Hell was a hallow fiery place not various kinds of rocks. Then one day 10 years later, a new nobleman figured that Smith's findings proved scientifically that Noah's flood caused layered rocks with fossils and the church's view of the world was right. William Smith was made the father of Geology.

I'm trying to tell the appealant court that there was a coolant leak in my truck as soon as I got it back from               . This is about as hard as William Smith tried to do. If I can't do this by Fed.1 I will have failed.

William Smith. By Hugues Fourau, via Wikimedia Commons

7/27/12 - (No Subject)
If you have a learning difficulty no problem take Adderall! 5% of student are on adderall and some sell it to there friends who take it before tests. The ones who don't get foodstamps. 2 million more food stamp user in the last 2 years.

By FtWashGuy, via Wikimedia Commons.

THE GOD CONSPIRACY

Brace yourselves for the biggest conspiracy you've ever heard. So big, it affects everyone on earth. So huge, it could affect everyone and everything in the entire known universe and beyond. It's like one of those trick questions atheists ask about god. "Could God make a conspiracy so big even He couldn't believe it?" 

The answer is, Yes, He could.

WHAT IS GOD?

In any religion with a God figure, He is thought to be the creator of all life, the architect of the entire universe and the loving deity who placed us here on Earth. The only way we know this, though, is through holy scriptures such as the Bible, the Quran, the Tanakh, or others. And these we received from a prophet, in some teachings from His Son, in others from a chosen mortal. But how do we know we can trust this word?

What if the prophet was misleading us, telling us tales to get something of ours in return? What if he were an intergalactic con artist? He went among the people and performed miracles to gain their trust and adoration. Perhaps these tricks were possible because of advanced technology he had or because he was an inter-dimensional being. It wouldn't be hard to fool ancient goat herders and sand kickers. Perhaps a time traveler called himself God and used technologies we have even today to fool the simple people.

Robo Jesus is coming. Image from rumproast.com.

Many religions, such as the Hopi tribe, worship creatures from the sky. An ancient astronaut could have easily fooled cultures before ours, and could probably still fool today's society. In fact, if you look towards the future outcomes of our current society, what do you see? We will eventually master space travel. We will eventually find other life. So, what will we do when we get there? What will we do the 20th, 50th time we find a new planet with sentient creatures? How long will it take for our achievements to go to our heads? For us to get bored with colonization? Look at the colonists who conquered the Americas. Cortez was treated like royalty, and he bathed in adoration, sucking at the power until he finally grew weary and destroyed his worshipers. How long will it take for human nature to run its course?

WHAT DOES GOD WANT?

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment." - Matthew 22:37-40

The first commandment Christians are ever taught is not to trust any other gods, not to worship any others besides the One True God. Why does He need our constant adoration and affection? He requires us to focus our energy and our minds on Him, to send prayers and worship to Him. As an inter-dimensional beast, there is no doubt He is harvesting energy from humans.

"The Human Energy Field". By Jon Whale, via Wikimedia Commons

The human body is a chemical and electrical system. Through us flow powerful currents of energy, and through meditation we can learn to control that energy. Through prayer, we can send that energy to another person or place. God is collecting our prayers as electrical, transcendental energy. He is growing His own energy and becoming more powerful with every prayer.

"Exalt the LORD our God; worship at his footstool! Holy is He!" - Psalms 99:5

"Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised He also is to be feared above all gods." - 1 Chronicles 16:25

These quotes hearken to the god creature's thirst for power. He wants to rule us. He wants us to kneel at His feet and fear Him. He wants us to capitalize pronouns that we use in place of His name. We are taught to fear our God from the moment we're born. And we are taught to worship Him.

WHERE IS GOD NOW?

You may be asking why Jesus left. An entire planet of human slaves and worshipers wounds pretty enticing, but how about an entire universe of worshipers? How about an entire multiverse of devoted followers? The God we know is travelling the universe, searching for life so he can harvest its spiritual energy. Perhaps in the afterlife we will find out what all that prayer has done for us. Has it earned us a spot in Hearven? Or has it made our souls frail by draining our spiritual energy?

The next time you lay yourself down to sleep, ask yourself what you're praying to. And what you're praying for.

Leech. By Chris Schuster, via Wikimedia Commons